We all express and receive love differently. Understanding your own and your loved ones’ love language can make a serious positive impact on your relationship. In fact, it’s one of the simplest ways to improve your relationship.

We naturally express love in the way we prefer to receive love. That’s why, at times, we thought we expressed love, but our loved ones might still be feeling a bit of lack. It’s not that they don’t know you love them, it’s just they didn’t feel in the way they wanted to feel.

To ‘speak’ another person’s love language, we must observe the way they express love to others, listen to their requests and/or what they complain about most often. We can always pay attention to subtle signs, but first, let’s find out what your love language(s) is.

The 5 Love Languages

According to Dr Gary Chapman, there are five love languages that we usually speak. These include words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service.

1. Words of affirmation

It’s about expressing affection through spoken or written words. You feel loved from hearing compliments, appreciation, encouragement, and the simple three powerful words “I love you”. You also enjoy love notes, unexpected text messages and cards.

2. Physical touch

It’s about physical affection. You feel loved through hugging, cuddling, holding hands, being intimate, and even sitting close to each other. You simply want to be close to those you care about.

3. Receiving gifts

It’s not the monetary value, but the thoughtfulness and message behind the gift. You feel loved because they take time and effort to pick out a gift and you know you crossed their mind. Yes, truly, it’s the thought that counts.  

4. Quality time

It’s about undivided attention. You enjoy uninterrupted and dedicated time with people you love, often including eye contact and active listening. You enjoy spending time doing things together and enjoying each other’s company.

5. Acts of service

Actions speak louder than words for you. You feel loved when someone goes out of their way to make your life easier. Whether it’s cooking a nice meal, taking out the trash or “let me do that for you”.

Take Home Message

As you keep learning more and more about how you like to express and receive love, you can teach your loved ones to speak your love language by communicating clearly what you want. Instead of letting them guess, why not just state what you need?

On the other hand, learn to speak their love language too. Take a step outside of yourself for a moment and pay attention to what makes another person feel loved and significant. If they’re unsure, why not consider exploring together?

That said, the love languages aren’t just for romantic relationships, but you can also apply to your relationships with your family, friends and co-workers. We are social animals. We may survive alone, but we thrive together.

Let’s learn to express love in a way that is meaningful to one another and keep each other’s love bank full!